This movie i'd seen

I was watching this movie the other night, it was really accidental as i was just kind of chanel flipping, and came across the movie Girl, Interrupted with Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie- back before she was famous. It's a pretty good movie i thought, about being crazy and specifically what it's like to be a girl and be crazy. (probably your mind dwel on different things with a crazy male)

And actually, none of the chracters were crazy at all, they were all just inexplicably very focused on one specific character flaw, that everything they do and think feeds to that, it's this never-ending cycle they cannot get out of. At the end of the movie, the narration tells something like; crazy isn't REALLY crazy, it's really some part of our personally- most likely a not so good part- amplified. An amplified part of our mind, our thoughts, that you can't control, no matter how you suppress it down. It just EATS at you.

This one girl in the movie, she was so fucked because her dad owns a chicken deli and he's fucked her all her life that she only eats chicken- and can only eat chicken alone, because having other people in the same room as her while she eats, to her is like many people taking a dump in the same room. It's revolting to her, i think her eating chickens makes her think of her dad fucking her, so she cannot eat with others in the room. It's too shameful. But she likes what her dad does, and she hates herself for liking it. So in the end she kills herself.

I really dont know my point to this whole entry, i hate it when i go on tangents. I think.., i was thinking about how the little crazy part in all of us is really some kind dissatisfaction about ourselves. Maybe it's something we think we should have done in our lives by now- but havn't, some person we think we should be-but are not, or some secret thought or wish we always have- but it's just so sick! That dissatisfacion with ourselves amplified, spreads to all these external things we do too. It no longer becomes this lingering back of our mind thought, but is always on the surface affecting everything we do and think! And god, it's a fucking pain yeah? When we sit down and think hard about it, we know we're pathetic. And i guess that's the pain, it drives you a little nuts like that, and you become a little crazy.

Anyway, that was a bad entry. Whatever- i'll just post it up anyway since i spent the past half hour thinking and writing it.