A Weta in my room

One night i was sewing something on my machine with the window open in front of me, and as i was sewing i glimpsed something large and crawly and ugly and i jumped up, knowing straight away it was an ugly creepy crawly insect. So i wanderd out of my room to the bathroom where the lethal RAID is. On the way i kind of yelled out something like "Fuck, there's a fucking large insect in my room!"

When i came back, my brother was here and he was like " It's a Weta" I'd never really seen a Weta before, it's actually quiet cool looking but ugly and very insect like in a way. I just didn't know how to get rid of it, wussy old me couldn't possibly pick it up! The only solution was death, so i got my RAID and sprayed. Now remember this: RAID is fucking strong, it blasts away cockroaches, the same insects that survive nuclear bombing, and one spray of it just into the atmosphere in your room, and with the door shut for about 8 minutes would kill all minor insects in that room-flies, moths, mosquitos. So i sprayed, and the Weta of course moved abit, but struggled, and before it got far (as in 2 steps) i sprayed again, and again. "DIE MOTHERFUCKER!" i yelled. Of course it would have been dead with the first spray, but no, i had to be a little typical girly idiot and spray half the bottle onto it. When i had stopped, we watched, it flinched, treid to move (but couldn't) it flinched some more, in fact uncontrollably for about a minute, it took a total of 50% of a step. RAID on an insect is like sulphuric acid on your entire body, just imagine that. The white acidic raid was still glued to its entire body, and after a minute of pure and immense pain, i'm sure, it died. Finally. AHHHHH, i'm such a bitch! And an idiot!

Really, i thought i had gotten over insects, even fairly big ones, and never seen ones, because insects are in actual fact, fascinating creatures, but i suppose i still don't understand. I felt bad about killing it, and my brother felt bad about me killing it. But it was so dead, and i took it outside rather then to the toilet, at least it'd feed back to nature.

Anyway, a couple of days later, i told a guy at work about this. In between me making 'market research' (ie call up people and annouy the shit out of them to complete an extremely UNinteresting survey) calls i told him " A weta came into my room the other night..." I paused, that was already half the story, so he replied with "What? Is that your story?" at which point i burst out laughing and couldn't stop because i thought that was really funny. And i finished the rest of the story with " And i blasted it dead with RAID."

The end, but really it was not a two sentence story, because this is the real story. The actions were short, but the whole event itself was something that involved: a shock, a death, a weapon, a killing, a killer and a victim, then guilt, by two people, and something kind of unjust and unlawful in between. So the story was lots more elaborate then that, the sequence of events seem short but it's what lies beneath!

The end.